Critics Corner - For those who like to be Critical.

The Clouds

2010-02-18T15:08:00Z

by Bugz

From one week to the next, nothing stays the same ,but everything is always the same. Trapped in a bubble, circling the lining walls with no apparent escape. The sun, blocked by the clouds. Deep greys, dark shadows, and ready to pour. Seemingly enormous, and ready to arrive without hesitation. Almost on que. As soon as the tan lines start to set, ...in rolls the shade. Covering what may have been a great day. The best, getting hidden by the complacent. The dull, overcoming the laughs, the ordinary strangiling the excitement. When it was all bubblegum, soda, and 5 cent candies, none of this was in the headlights. The windshields were focused on big plans, big money, big cars, and nothing but fun. Its like being permanantly branded with beer goggles. But without the buzz. Just left with the blur. Looking over my shoulder when things get good, waiting for the clouds to arrive, knowning their presence is always only a day or so away. Cant get to caught up, knowing it will end soon. One week, thinking about new beginings, the next week, thinking about the endings. The darkness, the empty space that is inevitable. The blah. The nothing as it were refferred to in an old 80's movie. Where is Atreyu? He should come assist me in battling the great nothing. The lamentation that hovers above. The inability to change what can be changed, The reform that has come ontop of what once was. The sitting spells that have replaced constant motion. The moving images of others doing what was prevously dreamed of. The watching, and not acting. The admiring and not doing. The groundhog day that is 70% of life. (10% is spent sleeping in my stats of which I just made up)...Jadakiss said why, but no one can give him an answer. I guess asking why is futile......There's never an answer. Why is a question that instills anger and resentment, not being able to comprehend the How first. How did it become what is? Never mind the why. Change is good, change is great, but change can be death. Building a sandcastle, surrounded by a thick moat, gutter filled slime, and a broken drawbridge. The hallways run deep, and the echos remain constant. Climbing to the towers, peering through the windows with reborn ideas, only to see the clouds come rolling back in as if it was known things could be better. Ready to spill over and pour on the parades, pushing the sunlight to the side, grab your popcorn, reserve your seat on the couch, sit, stay, sleep, repeat. Welcome to life. Bring an umbrella. Leave your excitment at the door, it's probably restricted anyway. Sit still, there's no point in fighting it. The clouds will overshadow the light sooner or later and you will be back here, In the clutches of the nothing. Staring at the walls, wishing to have back the days of clear windshields, bubbles, paper airplanes and jump rope. Death awaits us all, some never think of it, others close their eyes at night and hear the whispers of despair...Eyes wide shut....never saw the movie, but the title seems fitting...at some point I woke up, but never woke up.

Valentines Day

2010-02-12T13:42:00Z

Ok...Hear me out.
There could Not be a faker holiday. Talk about a corporate scam to get us dopes to shell out loads of money on things that are usually dead in a week or gone in a few days (flowers and candy)...I mean, what am I missing? Do I just not get it? This is a holiday in which you are encouraged to be with the one you love, and spend your money on them or trade gifts, and sweet nothings, regardless if you hated each other 2 days ago..And guys, oh boy, I dare you to Not have a gift on this holiday....Try it...Come back and let me know how that works out for you.... Saint Valentine was a martyr, whom had not a damn thing to do with Love. The Roman Church created this holiday, and the muckity muck muck fat cats took it over from there....Everything you believe about valentines day has been shoveled down your throat since you were 5 and you handed out a princess or G.I joe valentine card to your entire class...Talk about society mentally brain washing us huh? oh I know...I must be a cold hearted snake (Paula Abdul reference), to think so negatively of such a wonderful day....What about the lonely people...what about the people who have no one to share love with on this Vday? Those folks will be sitting in their rooms, apartments, homes, whatever staring at the wall, listening to the love songs on the radio, seeing all the jewelry commercials on tv, and wishing hateful things on those that do have love to share....emotionally contemplating suicide most likely over a government issues holiday....I say , if the Government is going to issue me a holiday such as this, they should also issue me a financial cashiers check to cover my Vday expenses....Bastards... Riddle me this.....Are you such a loser that you need a Corporate holiday to show your affection for the one you love? Are you so Lame that you never think to buy your significant other a card unless you have a holiday telling you to do so? When was the last time you wrote your lover a note? No, I'm not referring to txt'ng...Im talking hand written (See also Pens and Pencils).......If it takes a Money hungry holiday for your punk ass to show some affection, your relationship is doomed anyways...sorry to break it to you.... My love is everyday...and in turn, I celebrate Valentine's day everytime I can get my hands on her...When was the last time I wrote a note? Yesterday...I celebrate my love everyday, I dont need society to tell me too....Don't be a sucker....Dont succomb to a gov enforced money craze....Go out to dinner and tell them how much you love them, be wild and crazy, do it on March 2nd....You don't have to wait to Feb 14th to express yourself..Do it now..Do it often...Do it like you F'n mean it....If you have to wait for Valentines day to get sentimental, you have more issues then obeying societies commands. I celebrate Valentines day 365 days a year, I feel bad for you if you only see it on Feb 14th...

What's it matter to you?

2009-12-16T14:35:00Z

by Bugz:

What's it matter to you if everyone around sees the wrong when you blindly see the right? What's it matter to you when 300 people can give you the same advice, opposite of the path your choosing? What's it matter to you, when you hurt everyone around you for your selfish reasons? What's it matter to you when your choices land you in pain, both physically and mentally? What's it matter to you when the word family is used, but there is no meaning behind it? It doesn't matter to you. Period. And if you say otherwise, with or without the Drinks, Im yelling out Bullshit.

All my life I watched movies, TV shows, saw friends, and the way Families were reported to behave. The way families are supposed to love one another unconditionally. The way Families would help, and support and love each other. I witnessed this on a regualr basis, and I always thought in some strange way, My family was the same. I always figured, we showed things differently. We didnt hug, and kiss, and say I love you, but we all knew what it really was, deeper then surface actions. Until recently, I learned that I was wrong all these years. Its so easy to break my family apart. Rip through the seams, seperate the sections and push everyone into corners. Everyone is sitting back, witnessing a train wreck and not a single person will put their foot down and shake up the snowglobe.

Apparently I am the "MailMans" son. I say this because I am built unlike everyone in my family. I speak my mind, and when I see wrong, I speak on it. I refuse to sit back and watch people I love slam their heads into a wall with no regard for people nearby. Biting my tongue has never been my strong suit. Matter of fact I don't believe biting my tongue would be the right thing to do. If I bite my tongue and don't call out the ignorance, I then have to live with it. So, when the train crashes and everyone involved is critically injured both emotionally and physically, i would have to know that I watched it happen and didn't do a thing to try and stop it.

It's obvious I won't be able to stop this wreck from happening, but If I sit back and dont say anything, what kind of man am I? What type of person see's someone playing with fire and decides to watch them get burned without at least saying 'Be Careful'? But at the same time, I should sit back and think about the title of this....What's it matter to you? If it doesn't matter to anyone else, should it even matter to me? And if it doesn't matter to anyone, then how dare we use the word family. You cant use the word family, and not give a damn. It doesnt work like that. If you honestly just don't give a damn, dont call me family. Dont even call me bugz. Just call me Richard. Better yet, don't call me at all.

Obamas Plan

2009-12-02T13:36:00Z

By Bugz:

Holy bejeesus...I woke up this morning to learn that Every Tom, Dick and Harry AND Sally (to be politically correct) has turned in to a war room expert. Everyone is whining about Obama's Afghan Plan....You cant be SERIOUS!? When Did you, Mr. Database consultant, Mrs. Stay at home mom with a Blog, Mr. Garbage Man, Mrs. Company VP, Become an Expert in War Strategy? All of a sudden everyone's a genius...Go figure. Obamas not sending enough troops, Obama cant plan on an exit date, Obama, cant spend money on this war, it's another Vietnam...How dare these selfish Airtime hungry "Americans" pretend to have half a clue of how these decisions are made in the War room full of Generals, and Strategists....When Did everyone suddenly begin to believe Obama makes all of these Decisions on his own. Like He just woke up with this Plan. You want to send more troops? Easy for you to say. Will you also Man up and Call the Families when their 19 year old son gets killed by a roadside bomb? Didn't think so. It's SO EASY to judge from a distance without having a clue of what your talking about. Studying Political Views, and World History in Community College doesn't make you an expert. Shut up.

A New Introduction

2009-11-25T14:54:00Z

By Bugz:

Hello, Hello...is this on? Im standing at a mic, staring out, but I dont see anyone looking back.
Just the bright lights, it's quiet in front of me. I have to assume that at least 1 person showed up tonight.
Blinded, I'll just ramble off all my info, and hope someone in the crowd can hold on and get me.
My names Richard, but I prefer not to use it. My parents thought it was cute, I think its foolish.
Everyone who knows me, calls me bugz, its a personality name, a nick name, an AKA buzz.
I stand about 5'8'', and I think im of the athletic build. Nothing special, I dont think Im all the great.
I have an open mind and a weird sense of humor. Go ahead try me, you could even make a joke about a tumor.
I speak out loud, and have warped opinions, and after a while, I think this shows on re-run.
It must be time to get a new look, looky, this outfit just doesnt pull me any nooky.
Im as simple as it gets, easy to please, easy to get along with. I'll giggle at your jokes even when theyre not funny.
I can only strecth so far, I swear to this mic, I always work hard to be there for my buddy, any day, time or nite.
The rooms still quiet, I guess its what I get. My chains have been rattling for quite some time
I think we've met before, my personal meetings are never sublime.
You know me. Dont act like you dont. I think Ive been haunting you for a least 6 months.
Im the shadow in your room when you feel like theres eyes on you.
Im the hand when you slipped, when the counter was wet and you alwmost lost your grip.
youve prolly seen me before, but Lately, you dont see me anymore. I become more see through each and every day. even if you walk right through me , I still end up in your way.
The way I groan, and muble, and speak my ghostly howl, used to southe you at night, I swear I knew how.
Now, im stuck dragging these glowing chains across the floor, seeing the look on your face, my act isnt cute anymore.
Frustrated to say the least, Im an abborition once adored.Now im standing on this Stage like an attention whore.
testing, 1-2, testing...you dont even hear me out there, do you?Not anymore.
Ok, I'll own up. I need alot. I like the little things in life, and the attention I could get each and every night.
I ask for alot, constantly on the go, ready to jump up when you say the word, and pouting when I hear the word no.
Im even known for a typo or two, hell theres probably a few in here, what difference does it make to you?
Do my errors steal away the meanings? Or is it just an uncontrollable fit, when my emotions are seething
Its all on me, I take it and wear it, its my cross to bear. But it doesnt matter what I say if no one is out there....hello? Can you hear?
I speak up, I scream, I shout, I write....Then I fade to black, cuz im still just a ghost standing in your light.

Fidel and Che

2009-11-25T00:30:00Z

DISCLAIMER: I am not Unamerican, just don't follow in-step with every move of my government. Come on, don't you agree with your parents every now and again?

If you disagree with someone, does that make them bad?

What is just cause for revolution? I seem to remember our forefathers (not to be confused with foreskin) fighting for a land they believed was their divine right. (Thank God they did) They murdered innocent people and subjected them to Oklahoma (egchk) Big up the Seminoles for never surrendering. (oh yeah go FSU) Back to the point!

Mr. Castro, not exactly the number one draft pick of the US to run Cuba. I don't know who gave the US permission or authority to put someone in charge of a foreign land... Oh yeah forgot, we still do that. According to Cuban Legend, by that I mean Cubans I've talked to and older family members that Bautista was a mean little fucker... Remember the riots and black people not being a whole person? That was Bautista a general who the US appointed as Cuba's leader.... Poverty existed than as it does now, but there was much more class warfare and that was mostly divide by light/dark. Sound familiar? We had a government in place that modeled our nation at THAT time.

I'm in no way shape or form defending Castro, but he did what the Glenn Becks, and Sean Hannitys of the world tell us to do. Fight! There is no such thing a peaceful revolution. He wanted to better (in his opinion) his homeland that loved and cherish the same way some of these fake patriots did after 9/11. He took destiny in his own hands and led the march to overthrow a corrupt government. You may not agree with his methods, but shouldn't that be more favorable...

My man Ernesto "Che" Guevara. He wasn't even from Cuba... He was a doctor, I repeat a DOCTOR in Argentina. He gave up his prestigious post to help Fidel's cause... Wow, that's a true revolutionary... He didn't send a whole government to occupy and push their beliefs on a poorer country. Sort of like Pat Tillman I would say. He's honored as a hero because he was American... He was gonna kill combatants just like Che did.

I'm in no way claiming these guys are heroes per se but for all this rise against your government I'm hearing, they did it! They same as they are not heroes, they are not Hitler or Mussolini. We have to remember every country doesn't have the resources or populations to be ran like our country. That doesn't always make them bad, just different. Just like Reverend Wright said, they're not wrong, they're different.

Letter to Grandma.....

2009-11-24T13:34:00Z

By Bugz:

Dear Mrs SanSouci, I'm sure you been watching me, but I dont know if you even know me.
You left the earth so soon, I barely even knew you, faded memories in my mind they fly right through.
Not sure what type of woman you were, but I always heard the nicest things. Heard you used to protect me
from bullies and fights and things.
Mom used to talk highly of you, but it's like everyones forgotten about you. This is my letter, throught it was time I reach out to you.
You left in the 80's and missed so much. Mr Potato head was replaced by video games, MTV and such.
A pop culture revolution took place, and all the 80's babies were swept up by the pace.
Brian staid thick headed, never learned much. Hung out in the streets, stayed sellin dope and stuff.
He and my dad Even had a scrap, threw a tear through the family quilt, I suppose it was already weekend with the all the drama and crap.
I heard you was the rock that held the family in place, now I feel like its just a slap in your face. No one is close no more.
Bobby left the family, never looked back, we all just closed that door.
Patty is still tight with Robin, but Debbie is flaky, we see her and her son at the holidays sometimes when they come out of their apartment maybe..
Im told we were close, but I was only 8 years old at the most. Not sure I remember anything, its all fuzzy, but we coulda been good friends I think.
Lets try to fill you in, on the things you missed. I learned to ride a 2 wheeler, we were on longfellow still i think.
Dad struggled for work, mom stayed home most of the time. They kept us pretty tight, but love was hard to find.
I grew up in the rough neighborhoods, couldnt keep my bike for more then 3 weeks, wake up and learned about the theifs in the night.
I avoided trouble though, most of my life.
Basketball kept me grounded, even though no one came to see me play, I always put my heart in.
I assume you would been there, woulda been nice, to have that one Hooray for me Cheer. I dont hold it against you though, the disease took you, I know it wasnt your fault.
You missed my first real kiss, I was 15 years old, it was the middle of Spring, during my birthday party, the best one of the year so I was told.
You werent there to see me off during Freshman year, coulda used you then, cuz damn those teenage years.
I had my heart broke, better yet it was smashed on. By this girl I was dating, for like 2 years, turns out being alone was one of my biggest fears.
I lost all control that summer, and nearly joined you up above. Not sure how I maintained, I was always looking for love.
That's when I met Marcus, you woulda have liked him alot. he saved my life, whether he'll take credit or not.
he picked me back up during my lowest of lows, and took me out, kept me busy, had me back on my toes.
This is some details i think, that not even my mother knows. I learned to keep my depression hidden, even though I was 2 months couch ridden.
Marcus taught me things, for better or worse. Learned to leave a chick, and that my homies came first.
Most of my teen life was spent with women I hurt. They dont hold it against me, I think for the most part, I made up for all that plenty.
I joined the AF to get out of the house, shocker dont you think? Took the first trip from RI and went down south.
This is when I went to cali, and found out I could dance. This was my new love, but my military contract grounded me. I dont resent that though, I wouldnt take any of it back you know.
I met the wifey out there. I wasnt really looking for it, but it just worked out in the Cali air.
You missed my wedding, but it was real nice though. Maybe your the reason I lost all my photos in RI when the wife saw the NE snow.
I Assume you took them and their in Heaven with you. I dont mind, you can keep them. I never had the chance to give any of them to you.
Every time I go back home, I feel like your there, im sure its all in my head, but I never feel alone, whenever im out there.
You should see my kids. Theyre getting real big now. 6 and 11, and both girls, I got my hands full for a lifetime, wish you were here to teach me how.
You missed my graduation, and my sisters too. Its amazing, when were all with the family, no one ever talks about you.
Only went to your grave a couple of times, I think thats messed up, but love is sometimes in short supply.
you should see the world now, its changed so much. No one sings Saving grace anymore, no more peace on earth and such.
I suppose were all killing each other to some extent, I just try and walk through with a smile, when I can do a good deed, I go for it, I guess Im always looking to repent.
I didnt become famous, or even a millionare, but I think you would have been proud of me regardless, I assume anyways, if you were here. I guess your with Uncle Mike up there in heaven. His life was taken by someone for drugs, just another form of Satan.
The family fell so far apart, I havent seen uncle david in like 13 years. He might not even be alive, and if thats the case, I dont even think anyone cares.
Grandpa is still here, which Im sure your aware. Im sure he misses you though, he's alone in the house, even with my mom and dad there.
He's always happy when me and my family go back up there, but you can tell somethings missing for him, after you left, he gave up I think, losing you was prolly his greatest fear. We dont talk much about feelings or emotions, so I'll never know how he felt, its another
door that never gets opened.
I dream about life, and how it would be, if you never left this earth, what would be of you and me.
Would we be close? would my life have changed? Would you have been a shoulder to lean on, I guess it seems strange.
Your practically a stranger to me, but the closest thing I always wanted to see. Moms to scared about her own mortality
I think, because Obesity ran rampant through the family gene. I dodged that battle more then once, but if I ever build up her nerve we'll come see you one day, bring you some flowers, I think it's what you deserve.
This letter doesnt change anything, but I needed to get it off my chest. I know it was never your fault, but when you left, our family
was a mess. We miss you much.

Just Like Music... Or Not!

2009-11-16T23:56:00Z

The Temptations, Ohio Players, Babyface, BBD, James Brown, New Edition...

LL Cool J, Rakim, Slick Rick, Nas, Common

Metallica, Bon Jovi, Genesis, Pantera

Where have you gone?

I'm stuck with mediocrity like Lil Wayne, Plies, Ciara, and Soulja Boy... Not a diss on the south, here's some East Coast acts, Jim Jones, Max B, Juelz Santana, Lloyd Banks etc...

We empower these people buy dressing like them, singing their songs, and most importantly buying their music. No wonder hip-hop R & B get such a bad rap (no pun intended) look at who we put in the forefront of it. I'm all for abstract and creativity which Wayne certainly does not lack, but can I at least get some coherent music. (I'm respected like a stop sign, Dear Mr. Toilet I'm the shit) while people tell me they can't take someone as talented as Ludacris serious... Ha! That ain't logical. No one can quote Joe Budden or Joell Ortiz, but they know how to kiss you through the phone... As blatantly homo as that is... Somehow everyone morphed into super-thug and mega-slut.

And for the intro, yes I do listen to Metallica and the like. They make good music. They are original as far as melodies and sounds. I'm not saying I buy their albums but I get more enjoyment from songs that are over 15 years old. I'll take Babyface and Pebbles (love makes things happen) over I'm a Flirt. Give me early 90s Mariah for the win...

How is it that when there's hip-hop summits Nas and Common are nowhere to be found. Who's there, Nelly and TIP... No disrespect to them, TIP has grown as an artist. I know everyone wants to dance and party, but the radio used to be religious. Couldn't tell me nothing everynight it was the love zone on 92Q and who could forget the hip-hop on Saturday mornings. Redman, Tony Terry, Hi-Five all so underappreicated why I hear a dude that is trying his hardest to be a woman be celebrated as the greatest rapper alive. Jay wasn't and he isn't! I now know what Common meant when he said I used to Love H.E.R. I feel old, or maybe like the Taye Diggs character in Brown Sugar. I'm in the age of the Hip Hop Dalmations.

Where have you gone music that had a message and a point, beyond braggadocious misgony?

I'm a Christian, I accept God... what is my religion

2009-11-11T19:39:00Z

Only God can Judge me....

So why is that that everyone has a motherfucking opinion... In my eyes, religions are man-made so why should they be trusted... Afterall, didn't Martin Luther create Lutherans with his vision of what he Catholic church had wrong? I'm not a cynic by any means but I'm entitled to mine, if I have to listen to your's, no? I was taught that just because the majority of people are doing something, doesn't mean it's the right thing to do... I see people rush to church to hear someone else's interpretation of the bible, even when it conflicts with their own... I have faith, I believe but there's a few things I always wondered.

To the people that tell me I need church, how come you don't invite me to your's instead of inviting me to the club or to dinner. Part of being a Christian is spreading the word... Maybe the 5%ers were right. 85 % percent uncivilized, 10% know but won't share the info, 5% live the right way. Don't hit me with the he's a muslim talk, I'm just openminded and feel all sectors could have some part of the truth... No one living has it all... We're not supposed to.

I take solace in my indepedance..... I know alot of people who follow certain sectors of religion because their family does... Does that make it genuine to God? Just because grandma was a Catholic makes you so sure you're one without even trying to see another point of view?

We're so stuck on Muslims that we forget our own "Christians" have done wrong. Was it a Muslim that blew up the Oklahoma City buildings? I get it, it was those mean Anglo Muslims that were burning churches in the US' southern region... All religions have extremists and crazies, why deflect the spotlight to cover our flaws...

Let he/she that is without sin, cast the first stone.

I've been to many churches, Baptist, Catholic, Lutheran, Methodist... etc What's the difference bewteen a Baptist and a Southern Baptist? See I ask that because when I ask followers of the aforementioned sects they get offenede or mad... I was just asking a serious hope you can help me out question... That's the whole point of why I write, to educate myself to the views of others. Maybe you can show me light that I didn't know existed... but for now...

To each his own.

Doritos - VOTE FOR MY COMMERCIAL

2009-11-09T04:30:00Z

Most Shameful Drug

2009-11-06T22:25:00Z

My brain is fried, chest empty, limbs in shock
Shaking itching from this addiction I panic then stop
And realize drugs can take you away from this earth
I shower twice a day, but can rid this dirt
Relaxing me til I fall asleep on the furlough
Tv on, kid running rampant, I let go, it still hurts though
No marks but the pain is evident to those
How did I get started, I think anyone knows
Put me in the hospital people blamed me, I blame you
Had me disgraceful and shameful, I was satisfied but not full
Put you ahead of my family, wants and needs
Cause I thought you filled my wants but it was greed
Had my cake, wanted to eat it too
Nowhere to be found, when I needed you
Drugs take down empires, destroy the temple
Tore me from within, destroyed the mental
I know what I was doing it was never accidental
Had me spazzing the point where I was almost residential
I had to get rid of you to notice I had more without you
With you I feel nothing but empty balls
My circuits where working, but in my head were empty walls
Used to be blue but now innocent and disciplined
Thanks for stripping me and showing what I can be and could've been
So even though you're not here I'll appreciate you til the end
But to move on with my life I had to stop injecting and walk away from
my best friend

Horse Racing... The Old/New Dogfighting

2009-11-06T22:06:00Z

They say 30 is the new 20...

I sit back and reflect on the whole Michael Vick saga, and I wonder... I know hunting is a bad argument for a slew of reasons, so I won't touch that. Eating Cheeseburgers, uh, no... What about the poor horses of the Belmont Stakes, Kentucky Derby, and Preakness? What about the ones who weren't good enough? People piled on Mr. Vick because dogs are domesticated and sometimes even a part of the family.

DISCLAIMER: I neither love or hate dogs. They exist in the animal kingdom below me... I just want fairness... Oh no, don't tell anyone I said that, they'll think I'm socialist. Back to my thoughts.

People argued these dogs don't choose to fight, they are forced too. It's so brutal, so barbaric... I can see the viewpoint on that... But, where's the outcry of injecting horse with steroids, sticking them with spurs, and whipping them for our entertainment/amusement. I watch tv and who could forget the little girls that ask for ponies for their birthday? Poor Barbaro, euthanized because of the pain inflicted on him by his trainer/owner. And in case you were wondering, Barbaro did not use telekinesis to let everyone know that his dream was to be a Triple Crown champion. That I can confirm.

Meanwhile, while that was happening the media painted Michael Vick as some Villain going against GI Joe. (side note: doesn't Fox News count as a part of the mainstream media?) I digress, but I don't condone what Vick did at all. I don't really care about dogfighting either way, but when you electrocute and drown animals, that's just sick and you have issues. If these people (especially you PETA and ASPCA) rid the world of horse racing... It was fed down our throats on how dogfighting was this urban, part of southern, poor culture... That may be true in some areas, but does that leave rich people as the supporters of injuring and killing horses... Really, we get told each year by MLB and Congress that steroids are bad for you, and a major health risk... It's good enough for the horses though.

Can't we all just get along... Maybe we can develop brain scanners that will tell us what the animal is thinking. Shout out to the makers of I-Phones and Blackberrys and other useless expensive shit we use.

Twilight Spoof!

2009-11-06T20:10:00Z

Lazy People

2009-11-05T13:54:00Z

By Bugz..

Wow. Lazy people drive me crazy. Are you one of them?
So many people have blame to cast for days. We blame the government for our Financial woes, and then we turn around and ask the Government to fix them for us We blame McDonalds for our Huge waistlines, and then we try and sue them for compensation , 85% of which will now be spent at Burger King.
We blame Old people for car accidents, but get older by the day and swear no one drives better then us.
When do we stop being lazy and selfish and start taking personal responsibility for our lives?
Your finances suck? Stop buying shoes, sodas, t-shirts, jewelry, bling, or whatever else your addiction is. So eager to look like the "norm" and please society...Whatever happend to individuality??
My kids go to Ballantyne elementary....And I hate it. Every girl there is wearing makeup by age 10, taking their iPhones and Blackberrys to school, and making fun of the students who dont have Real Vendi Bags....It makes me sick. Individuality died somwhere in the late 90's and early 2000's, and now This Fuc*ed up notion of a rule of the land we refer to as "Society" has created an atmosphere where everyone should be the same....The hell with having babies, lets just give up and break out the cloning machines.
If your sitting on the couch, with cookies in your hands, blaming your job, family, or background for your obese waistline, you need to shut your mouth. It's all bullshit. You know why your fat? Because you eat junk and you sit around too much. Period. Dont blame the 3thousand calorie breakfast sandwhich at BK for being so horrible, blame your dumass for eating it twice a week for 3 months. And yea, you may think Im being Righteous, talking like this, but I can speak from experience. I come from an obese family. (O-B-E-S-E).
I eat my fair share of cookies, cakes, and sweets, but about 9 years ago when I saw my waistline, combined with my family history attacking the size of my jeans, I made a choice to start excersing. If you can eat 10 cookies while watching your favorite CSI....You can do 20 minutes on a treadmill while listening to your favorite music....It doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure this out. Calories in VS. Calories out....And while im on the topic, my biggest pet peeve is NOT seeing fat people in the Gym (im glad your making a change by going) My biggest pet peeve is Fat People eating at fast food restaurants....OMG, drives me insane...Just skip the Double cheesburger and Grab the shovel and dig your grave, stop wasitng taxpayer money on your health issues.
What am I saying with all this? STOP BEING LAZY....Stop blaming others. Stop talking and start doing...Lazy people drive me crazy.. You want to be Lazy? So be it, but shut your mouth and stop complaining.

Voting... and the N word

2009-11-05T01:24:00Z

I appreciate things, but in a different way than others...

What does that even mean? I admit, I love the fact that I can vote. I appreciate the sacrafice others have made so that I can have rights some didn't/don't want me to have. Hmmm... Okay, here's the part that makes everyone mad.

Somehow I managed to find a way not to vote last year. Why?

I had my reservations... I wanted to see history made, but I couldn't vote for a man just for that reason... That ain't logical right? Well enter my mind... Those people that died didn't die for me to half-ass it did they? Like why honor the flag and forget those who died in wars? Anyway, back on topic... I liked Obama more than I liked McCain... doesn't mean I was enamored or that I should resort to picking the lesser of two evils. I'm sure those that gave their lives didn't do so for me to take voting for granted.

For all of those that think I'm so evil for not voting, answer me this... Does voting down the party line honor their sacrafice... Just because I grew up around Democrats doesn't mean I have to be... It's sort of like religion. Why be Catholic, solely because your family was, they're may be something greater out there.

Most Republicans I've met, would never vote for a Democrat... DISCLAIMER: I am independent... Politicians are all salesman, I put my faith in God, not man. If I would have voted for Obama to make history only, how would that have made me any better than those who voted for McCain to prevent history... Food for thought!

On to the N word... I haven't said that word in about 2 years, and it upsets me when someone I care about greets me with it... Not because I'm better, but I feel as if my ancestors and those before us are rolling in their graves watching that word get tossed around like es nada. Granted, words only as powerful as we let them become, but damn, really, someone in our bloodlines got called that shit regularly and it was hurtful and degrading... What am I saying, nobody will get my point right? Whether you do or don't hit me up with your opinions... One

A Truthful Letter to Mama

2009-11-01T16:42:00Z

It seems disrespecting you has become a bad habit
you used to feel pain, even tried to mask it
over something so simple, tell me who my dad is
and I'll stop chewing on your ass like a rabbit
your mom and other tell me to move past it
oh well, now I guess I'm supposed to reach out to you
but if I did it would be to smack the shit out of you
I guess a mean bastard came out of you
I'm not trying to be the blame out of you
since you're my mother, shouldn't I hold you to a higher standard
guess I have no home training, no manners
go head and call me the bad seed
let's stay estranged and see who needs
who first, I haven't needed you since birth
you never loved me, that's what makes the shit worse
you can't even say hi to your only granchildren, one's 1, the other six
I don't want to have to explain to them why I'm motherless
took 25 years just for me to find the truth, everyone covered it
but I'm in the wrong, kiss my ass
the toast is to the end of our relationship, I'mma lift my glass
point it to the heavens, your bring nothing to my life
but agony, I find happiness through the Lord and my wife
y'all want me to talk to her, ya'll do it
and I bet you'll feel the same as me
don't believe me prove it
my heart isn't a game to me
so dear mother, I know I missed your last couple birthdays
ha, I get more enjoyment celebrating earth days
see you in a month, don't expect me to talk much
but when I do, you'll hear every word, except love

Culture... What is it?

2009-10-30T00:18:00Z

CULTURE:

The behaviors and beliefs characteristic of a particular social, ethnic, or age group: the youth culture; the drug culture.

This is the definition that our good friends at dictionary.com provide us with.

I hear too many times... My hair is a part of my culture, my views are of my culture. At what point did it become bad to be an individual. I'm all for tradition, but why fall in to a stereotypical catergory when I'm atypical in so many ways. Are my gold teeth and gold chain a part of my culture?

Growing up in a mixed family, but mostly black (I guess for the hyphenated lovers African-American household) what is my culture. So much was stripped away from me before I was even a mere thought to my parents (whoever my father may be) When I meet my European friends (White) they can trace their family histories back to the beginning of last century and even further than that. I admit I'm a little envious of that. All I know is my grandfather's mother was Cuban. Beyond that no names or black/white photos to pass along to my kids.

Is BET supposed to provide me culture... I've never been one for rims, weed ocassionally back in my day, but what defines our culture. With Hispanic traces, obviously there's certain foods, and dances ie, salsa. But does me being open about that makes me less black? What do I have to do uphold my culture... I mean there's fried chicken, pigfeet, chitterlings, watermelon and the like... That's just jokes of course but you get my point.

Nowadays, all I see are deadbeat dads, ignorance, tight ass jeans (on dudes) and pants saggin... Who the fuck thinks that shit looks good? That's why I get judged before I speak a word. Should I be proud of that? This is not meant to be condescending at all, but just really looking for answers... Everyone always thinks they know it all, and always want to give advice so answer this question... Culture what is it?

Obviously, my family should have answered these questions first, but I'm challenging you to do it... The childeren are our future, lets spread legacies to pass on....

Relationships: Who Understands Them?

2009-10-29T19:09:00Z

DISCLAIMER: This is not a generalization, we all speak from our own experiences.

by:MikeDub

We all search for love at one time or another. Many of us have been burned, scorn, and some of us have found bliss. The one common point, I think we all can agree on is without communication you have nothing.

Men love sex... So do women... There's an old adage. " Whatever you won't do, someone else will". How many times have we heard that one.

Too many to count I'm guessing. Women confuse us. Not because they are hard to understand, it's because they don't want to be understood. You ever notice the more you learn about a woman, the more she tries to change. Or even better, once you know her, she begins to push you away.

Why is that? Fear, memories of the past, lacking logic? The number one question I've always wanted to ask women is: When you meet a guy have that physical attraction, what may have you. Why is it so easy to lay with him, give him that piece of you that is considered sacred? (well to me at least) Yet you claim to have found love, your soulmate, bliss, etc. you suddenly become tired, or can't be bothered. I've never heard of a man being too tired, unless he's just not that into you. (Things that make you go hmmm...) Wake up complain about said new guy when in most cases they knew what they were getting into. Wasn't the bad boy factor, part of the intrigue?

So do we really have to wonder why the boyfriend/husband stepped out? Is there a doubt that had home been taken care or, there would have been no need to step out. Now I'm not condoning any of these actions, but we all know that every action has a reaction. That's where communication becomes key. Many woman I've talked to cite the fear of rejection as a reason not to be vocal or demanding if you will... Well closed mouths don't get fed. And these same women have no problem rejecting a potential courter/husband. Love is not elusive, it's among us each day, we just look for what we want instead of what we need. Maybe woman are more scared of commitment than they lead us to believe. One thing for sure, is that this isn't the 1960s anymore. I say that to say this...

Chivalry isn't necessarily dead, I do my part. Could it be that women and men's roles have change.

Another old adage, spoken from the women's point of view. "Whatever you can do, I can do better." If so why'd you let love slip away because you felt he wouldn't/couldn't do what you felt he should. Just because you are a woman doesn't make you entitled to anything. There is a natural respect a man has for a woman... That doesn't mean you can be a bitch, cunt, or any other negative phrase and still be treated as a queen. For those ladies, (and I use that term loosely) Que Lastima! I mean does being a man entitle me to having a hot cooked meal, and bath water run... Maybe in the 60s and earlier, today not so much.

And there lies in the point. Times have changed and we have to change with them. Being pretty and nice isn't always enough these days. Being Ice La Fox, and Lacey Duvalle could be fun for awhile, but then what.

Both men and women now-a-days seem to lack the depth needed to maintain something healthy. Is it because of our parents? We've seen our grandfathers do what they want, and still be loved by our grandmothers.

Maybe that's why women can tolerate so much... They feel they're supposed to. Just food for thought.

This is my first blog so feel free to leave input or even topics for discussion... next blog idea. "Culture, what is it really?"

What is Love

2009-10-28T14:30:00Z

I figured I would bring this one back again.
(Originally posted last year)

Sometimes I get boredand write about random topics. Jae thinks I should write a book. Ithink I am too lazy.If you are going to Read this...Click<<More>> and read the whole thing. The ending is critical.

What is love? By Bugz

Well, per mydictionary, Love is as follows: feel desire for somebody: to feelromantic and sexual desire and longing for somebody

So there you have it. If you desire someone, you must be in Love. Right?

Or is Love nothingmore then just that? A word, most likely invented by someone Frenchnamed blah blah angelo or something. I suppose if you strip us(humans) down to our bare essentials we do what is needed for survival,ie. Our animalistic behaviors. We breath, eat, use the bathroom, andall other things are somewhat optional correct? Or is there one otheressential primal need? The need to mate, pro-create. Keep the specieson-going. Or is that too closely relating us to our primate kindred.No, not uncle Ned from Texas who married his sister Betty-sue. Notthose primal kin…I meant the apes, but I digress.

Why do I care? Whoknows. Why even bother writing(typing) this. Who knows. Once I postthis on my site, I am more or less guaranteed that two people will readit. My west coast movie fan and Jae. Outside of that, I could post thison myspace, send it to CNN, pass it out on flyers and no one will givea damn because I am not a world renowned writer. Oh well. I suppose atthat point I am just talking to myself. Something extremely convenientwhen you are 3 states away from your family with no friends.

So…Is love our mostbasic of desires? Our most basic raw human instinct? Strictly inherentfor the act of procreation and continuing the species line, such aswith all animals? But, god forbid we would call it that. We shunt referto our spouses as Mates.(unless you live in Australia) That’s notneeded anymore. We have procreated our asses out of satisfying gasprices and reasonable corn stock. So now what do we call our naturaldesires to hump like rabbits? We call it Love I suppose. The desire tobe with another person physically.

Don’t reach out toslap me yet. I’m not done. But Bugz, how can you say that about love.Love is all you need. Loves is what makes the world go ‘round. Right.Sure. If you say so. The way I see it, as unfortunate as it may be, itlooks like oil, money and power make the world go ‘round. I am quitesure via the bible, Koran, scribes, the old man who used to write onthe walls and the people that carved in stones did not intend for this.Have we that greatly abused our intelligence? So much that all thatmatters is how big your rims are, and how much you can spend on yournew purse (that is clearly not directed at your purse shopping Jae).

So, you get married.Right? Or you don’t even have to go that far. You got a boyfriend orgirlfriend. Right? And now you’re “in love”, based on the above,meaning you have found someone you find suitable to mate with. Until ofcourse that someone checks your wallet, leaves his socks on the floor,and can not maintain a clean bathroom, and then viola, you have aperfect reason in “Societies” eyes to reach out and find a new mate…andthe cycle continues. That’s Love huh?

Sounds more to melike a need to fulfill a basic instinct, and then once that need hasbeen fulfilled, you are able to find a satisfying reason to move on. So what is Love?

How poorly do wesling the word around? Think about it. It is quite possibly the MOSTabused word in all of the English language, and I am sure it doesn’tstop with English. I am sure even the Japanese and Germans abuse theword love (even though their languages always sound like the are mad ateach other).

Wouldn’t you Love anew computer? We bet you would Love to be the envy of yourneighborhood. Hot sauce so good you’ll fall in love. Wow. Love huh?That’s deep. In the context of an SAT question, I would say chickenwings, women and video games are most closely related to each otherbecause they all share the inherent ability to be loved. Bullshit.

But Bugz, Love iswhen you no longer feel lonely. Love is when you finally feel like whatever is missing has been found, and you are a better person because ofit. Love is when you cant breath, talk and or think when you are aroundsomeone. Really?

Hmmm….sounds more to me like a medical condition in which I am sure Dr. Gupta has a pill for.

Sounds to me like youhave found a Mate and it is the strongest of our basic desires, hencerelating material products to the same text, you would desire them in asimilar fashion. Thus, seriously manipulating your brain and abusingthe word.

How many times hasany one person been able to say “I thought I was in love” later tofind out they were not…They were really just infatuated, until theirbasic needs were met and they decided to move, decided to claim, “itwasn’t really love” instead of just being honest and saying , “hey, I’mhuman, meaning I’m shallow by nature.”

Do I believe in Love? You betcha. Ha, bet you don’t believe me at his point.

But I do. I just disagree with the word and the way it is used.

I wish there wasanother word for the way I feel. The way I’m sure many of us feel. Forthose of us actually in love, it’s not about the primal instinct tofind a mate….Don’t believe me? Think about it.

Your married to him.Your married to her. Whatever. If the right person tries to mate withyou, and it wasn’t looked down upon via the bible depending on yourreligion, or by society and our thirst to have that one person foreverand ever….it wouldn’t be appealing? It wouldn’t be the common practice?Sure. We would be one giant orgy polygamist camp --clothing optional.

So love is not aboutthe mating ritual. I serious feel that the act of having sex is a basichuman instinct. We desire it at our most humble of levels, admittedlyor not. (besides the fact that it feels pretty darn good)

So what is love? I still haven’t answered that. Nor have I seriously attempted to I suppose.

What do I love? Maybeit will be easier in a description of the things I love. I love mywife. I love my 2 girls. I love my dogs, my house, my job, pizza,chicken, hot sauce, movies, and I could go on. But seriously…Let’s putthese things into more appropriate categories. I do not have a strongdesire or attraction for my house and my hot sauce. I have a want. Theyare things that for whatever reason I am programmed to want. Maybe thatwant is determined by society, or my upbringing, or maybe by the media.Who knows.

I do not Want my wifeand Kids in that manner. It’s not a want. It is a need. I need my wifeand kids. Everything is better when they are around me. It’s evenbetter being in a bad situation or being depressed with them around.Having them near by makes my happiness more enjoyable. My favoritefoods taste better and my favorite music sounds louder. Love is whenyou find that person that enters your life and at that very second,everything changes. No I don’t mean how many latte’s you buy at starbucks, or where you sleep at night. I mean on the inside. Everythingchanges inside. When you suddenly desire to do something with yourlife. When you realize you want to make yourself better. When you havean urge to be the best you possible. When you can not go one daywithout thinking about her. How she smells, smiles, laughs. Those arethe things that lead me to a better description of what love is. Whenone day you suddenly realize, your life is not the only important lifein your world. Look at the person you are with. Do you Love them? Or doyou just have your basic instinct keeping them around. Would you diefor that person? Honestly. If someone put a gun to their head andinformed you that the only way they would live is if you died. Wouldyou? Would you sacrifice your life for theirs? If you can’t say yes,then I’m sorry, your not in love. You will be done with each other whenyour tired of humping like rabbits. Sucks huh? Don’t be upset. It’sprimal. And until evolution makes us realize we no longer need toprocreate at such an alarming rate, you will continue to have thosedesires. The difference is when you no longer require that desire tofeel the same way around the same person. Remove it. Completely. Howdoes that feel? Thinking about how quickly you can get some? Or are youdoing just fine?

Love is when you havethe absolute desire to connect to someone beyond the desire to jumptheir leg. That is love. When you are willing to let them have the lastpiece of cake. That is love. When you no longer put yourself first.That is love. Would you put those hot wings or that prada first beforeyourself? I hope not.

Love is not casual.Love is not a hobby. Love is not a word that should be used to describehow badly you want a pair of freeking ear rings. Love is a life style.Love is divine. Love is the absence of everyone else in the world,leaving just you and your soul mate. Love is endless. Love isforgiving, and rewarding. Love is not easy, but there is definitelynothing like it. Nothing. Maybe all you need IS love. Or maybe we as afrugal, power hungry primal society, just need to stop abusing the damnword.

Based on thesethings, I know how deeply I love the 3 girls in my life. I know whatthey mean to me. I know that I have grown past my primal instincts andfound a deeper value. Have you?

And in that sameinstance I just told you why you don’t love material things. We’re justignorant enough to want things so bad, we calmly abuse the word love.

Connect it to sex, relate it to our primal instincts, and you have one hell of a marketing campaign.

Halloween 2009- What are your plans?

2009-10-26T16:31:00Z

It's that time of the year again. Grab your broom sticks, your candles, sage, crystal balls, and live up the month of the dead. What do you do to celebrate Halloween? Anything special? Do you hold giant group meetings on Ouija boards? Do you collect all the black cats in your neighborhood and give praise to all things Wicca? I'm curious. I will be celebrating in a less gruesome fashion then normal this year. Normally I trick out my looks, and get gross, and then do my best job scaring all the kids. BUT, this year, Im going to a party, that Im not hosting. In light of that, im toning it down so I'm not stuck in a sweaty costume all night. But if you have something Cooky, Spooky, or Freaky planned....Let me hear about it!

Frankens "Rape Clause" Rejected by republicans.

2009-10-23T16:35:00Z

So this DOOFUS, thinks a rape clause is really just about a Political agenda....Are you F'n serious? The republicans voted staunchly against a bill, introduced by Franken which would hold contract firms responsible for one of their employess being raped by other employees while on the job...The senate argument (R), led by this reject, voted against this. Really?! Really?? On What Basis do you as a Moral, Ethical and Responsible human being vote AGAINST the rape victim??!! - This was all based off of a report where a female employee of Haliburton was Gang-raped while over seas on a contract job, and the company looked at her and said "Too bad for you".
Slow-Clap for the republicans. Good Job. We all appreciate the support....A-holes.

Fox News Vs. The White House

2009-10-23T13:42:00Z

So, here is where my confusion is... I have heard SO much crap about how the President himself, is taking on Fox news.....However, I have yet to see or hear ANYTHING FROM the President himself, saying this...Who is starting this rumor? It seems more likely that a staff member is running with it. The only clip I have seen of the president referencing this is where he says "Im not loosing any sleep over it" - Yea, that seems like someone really embatteled with Fox news.....The right wing wack jobs, Beck, Rush, Hannity, are starting to remind me of Eminem. They need you to pick a fight with them so they can go on the Attack. The love to spit their hate, and Spitting it at the left is right up their alley. Didnt their moms ever teach them, if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything?... Is the President denying them interview? Sure..But it makes sense. If your going to deliberately bash everything I say and do, and flip everything I say into some hitler ism, then why should I bother even talking to you....

HAHAHA Show them Tata's

2009-10-23T00:33:00Z

This was TOO Funny to pass up... (rated R)

Video - Rodney Carrington - Show them to me

Kids...the Youth is gone.

2009-10-22T17:35:00Z

Where has the Youth Gone...Somewhere along the line, I'm starting to think that mankind has failed itself. At what point and to what extent have our kids lost the ability to have what was once referred to as a "childhood". I think it's safe to say that all hope must be lost. Remember back when you would get out of school and do whatever homework you had as quickly as possible in order to go outside and play? And, what happened if no other kids were outside? Nothing, you would play by yourself using something once referred to as an imagination. It seems as though we have evolved past that brain function. Technology has consumed us so bilaterally that we no longer need to imagine a damn thing. What ever you can imagine, you can find on you tube, Disney, nick...etc... When I was young I had Role models. Neil Armstrong, the Cops in my neighborhood, Michael Jackson, Michael Jordan, even some of my teachers. When you asked me what I wanted to be I would tell you I wanted to be a fireman, an astronaut, a dancer....something...Now, kids wanna be famous. period. If you have a younger daughter you can pretty much sign yourself up on the Hanna Montana train for the next few years. Ya know, the girl with a personality disorder, pretending to be more then 1 person and making millions off of singing with a lisp and a dad that had one comical hit song...Yea, good job. Blame the media. i don't mean the "left-wing, obama socialist mop wielding media" That has nothing to do with it, besides the fact that I see that as a joke....but I mean the TV media. I would say Wait, blame the parents, but our brain-washing started much further back then we can remember and we would now be the first ones stuck in a corner enduring the cold sweats, chills, shakes, and stomach aches of a withdrawal if you dare take our sitcoms away. We have become such couch potatoes it's embarrassing. Our ancestors would smack us in the faces if they could see us now, let alone 75% of America's ginormous waistlines. Our kids now dream of Living on cruise ships and hanging 10 with Zach and Cody instead of saving lives. Now our kids want to be Famous for being Famous like Paris Hilton instead of being famous for curing cancer. Its pretty evident that we have , as a whole, failed our children, and our futures may be doomed. I don't have a solution, but the problem stares me in the face EVERY day when my kids Hurry as fast as they can to finish their homework, so that they can listen to the ipods, or youtubes or catch the newest Nick show. When I tell my girls to go play outside, you might think I just told a conservative to support Obama to their fullest. Going outside is like torture. If my kids get grounded, the only way to successfully punish them will be to ground them from being inside the house. It's insane. And almost all of us are to blame. Did we not see this coming? Does anyone even care? Angelina Jolie doesn't, she would rather hang with Madonna and buy up all the Ethiopian, Cambodian babies over seas instead of saving the kids here in America who's futures are looking worse by the minute.

Healthcare -To Reform or Not to....

2009-10-22T16:41:00Z

Boy did that guy shoot himself in the foot...Where do you stand on the issue?

I don't think it takes a genius to see that we need some kind of reform...I can tell you this though, after being in the military for 9 years, the biggest thing I miss is my healthcare bens. Damn....I used to go to the doctors twice a month just to get check ups and what not. I got out and got some private care....That shi* Robbed me blind....Spent like 400$ a month, and barely got ANYTHING covered at all.....Luckily, I got hired on with a company who actually Offered full benefits...so yea...Now I have theyre coverage...Its not bad I guess...My co-pays and perscriptions can still get costly though....I dont have the answer to the problem, but I dont see why it's bad to have More then one option/system available to people instead of JUST Private....who knows!?

That dance right dere!

2009-10-22T16:16:00Z

He's Profane....But he's funny...hahaha

The Sleeper

2009-10-21T23:18:00Z

Sleep walking, hair twirling
http://criticscorner.bugzinc.com/2009/10/21/the-sleeper.aspx

Funny/Cool Video

2009-10-21T22:03:00Z

I know this has been around for a lil' while...but I love it anyways.

Halloween

2009-10-21T16:09:00Z

What are you dressing up as for halloween??! I need Ideas....
How can I get my brunette wife to Pull off the Suki look from true blood.....
and Can I really pull off Bill Compton just by being pale? Crap....I may
be pale enough as is without the Makeup.....

The Blog

2009-10-21T14:24:00Z

Well, I took a hiatus. Which is most obvious.
I am still going to talk about movies when I get them time and post my thoughts on new Tv Shows and such...
If you'd like to see things added, or discussed, let me know. Football? Politics? Suspended animation?
haha....it doesnt matter...Shout me out and let's get things rolling.

-Bugz

Step Brothers

2008-12-08T17:22:00Z

2008

Rated R

Comedy

ok.....Screw the Critics....I actually doubted seeing this....I am glad I did....This movie was laugh out loud funny..There's no need for me to talk about the story line, or what to expect, because you already know....(unless you live under a rock)
Let me name some highlights....**SPOILERS**

Teabagging a drumset
Interviewing as a tag team
Fighting before they fall asleep
Banging your "Sister-in-Law"
Interrupting the holiday meal
Making a lude rap video

It doesnt stop...I could go on...but I won't...Id Rather you experience this for yourself.
This movie get's a Solid B++ with a side of ruptured spleen.

Wanted

2008-12-08T17:06:00Z

2008

Rated R

Action

Ok...So, if you feel yourself drifting to sleep...pop this one in...Its sure to wake yo ass up!!! You can also rent this if you are the geek who aways gets picked on, likes too see the little guy fight back, enjoys a good movie with angelina jolie bleeding, or just wants to see some Shi* get shot up.....Wanted is an action packed, shoot the flys off a wing mama jamma. Watch the nobody become the somebody and start shooting at folks like it's yesterdays news. Follow the path, walk the path, be the path....whatever....Just kick everyone's ass while you are doing it...This is like taking 1 cup of shot gun shells, posting a video camera in proper position, throwing the shells in a blender, and recording the results....After that, get your video camera, and watch the whole thing in slow motion....This movie gets a B+ with a side of anxiety medication.

Southland Tales

2008-11-30T21:01:00Z

2007

Rated R

Sci-Fi

Ok....Do you have 2 hours to kill? Dont know what to do with it? Feel like completely wasting it? Then you should watch this movie....instead of giving any kind of over view, let me tell you what you will see in this one.....
You will see the Rock, with a nervous twitch that is more then annoying...Sarah Michelle Gheller ...Mrs Cock Chugger herself. You will also see some Republicans trying to own the internet and take away any chance of having civil liberties...BTW, Texas had a nuclear strike, and WW3 was underway....Dont forget The whiley Justin Timberlake with PTSD watching everyone though the scope on his big gun....Oh and theres the DeepThroat 2, who is a freedom fighter, looking for the revolution of Socialism, from Richard Marx...And theres also the IDENT, which is the now Owned Gov internet.....and theres an alternative energy source....and dont forget the Freaky Japanese girl who cant breath without her lil cigarette.....Dont forget Shawn william scott is in this movie, with his double, aka, his twin, aka the 2 who are most likely to crumble the 4th dimension....Have I made any sense? If so...then this movie is for you....If not....then your just like me....I spent 15 minutes trying to analyze the information I had seen, and then I spent 15 minutes trying to figure out how the movie was made, and I spent 20 minutes trying to figure out other things I could have done with my time, I also spent 5 minutes of thinking outloud...WTF...yep....it was That Good......This movie gets a D+ with a big side dish of confusion..

88 Minutes

2008-11-27T18:36:00Z

2008

R

Darama/Thriller

Ok....so, this is a drama/thriller, minus most of the drama and thrill...Al Pacino does a good job, but the script does not...Its like a really cool idea that never became cool..This is supposed to be a mind bender, and while it does make you think, trying to find out who the killer is, it doesnt leave you much else....Pacino looks scatter brained, and his supporting cast looks less then supporting...He gets a phone call and someone tells him he has 88 minutes to live. Its his job as a forensic therapist to figure out who the killer is and how/why....He runs around from location to location, and looks for clues, hints, or suggestions....unfortunately, the director was lacking a clear purpose and idea of his own...You wont want to kill yourself at the end of the movie or anything dramatic, but you might feel like you were eating ice cream and it melted before you were able to finish it....Dont rent it...wait for it to be on HBO or something......This movie gets a C- with a side of who dun it....

Get Smart

2008-11-27T18:23:00Z

2008

PG 13

Comedy

Ok...So, I was hesitant about this one...Just not sure if I would enjoy it...but on a Friday night, there was nothing else to choose from..I was surprisingly impressed with this...Steve Carrel pulled off a Leslie Nielson type performance better then Leslie himself...He's an over analytical agent who doesn't know his flamethrower from his scissors. Think, Jason Bourne meets Mr Bean. Watch as he shoots himself, tranquilizes himself, confuses himself, and befriends a giant. All in a days work of being a secret agent man....There's a story line, but, ya know, it doesnt matter and its typical...This flick was a gaffe fest of bloopers and irony....Check it out...I doubt you'll be disappointed....This one gets a solid B with a side of hidden entrances...

PS3

2008-11-22T02:54:00Z

Off Topic....If you got a PS3 hit me up - PSN - Bugzinc23

Shutter

2008-11-16T01:48:00Z

2008

Rated R

Horror

Ok...so, um....Yea....Im sure there was something else on TV I could have watched. Is it the worst movie I have ever watched? Nope....Is it the Best? HAHAHAHAHAHA....If you somehow end up with this movie on your TV, fast forward to the last 20 minutes....Ironically, the best part of this overblown flick...Im pretty sure everything in this film has been done before, and done better. If your curious....This is a "Scary" movie about some people who did some bad things (surprise) and then then haunt begins....kinda...and there's a few attempts at creepy pictures, and images....but..well, you get the point....This movie gets a Pitiful C- with an overpriced camera that has a broken flash on the side....

You Don't Mess with the Zohan

2008-11-16T01:31:00Z

2008

Rated R

Comedy

Ok...So this Movie....This is good, Yes? If you enjoy yourself an adam sandler flick....Try this one.
I doubt much youll be dissapointed...The Zohan will teach you a many good things...Thing Number 1? He will teach you to talk with an accent that's both insulting and comical at the same time. Not bad, yes?
He will also teach you the art of Disco, because apparently everyone in the middle east is stuck in 1975 and still doing the Boogie woogie shuffle...Then, you will learn to use your Schnitzel on the Poontachi...Not a bad lesson plan for one comical movie...Is the movie absurd? Is the movie outlandishly silly? Is my President a black man? Exactly.
From terrorist to Hair Stylist, this movie has a moral, a story (somewhat) a giant jock strap and loads of laughter...no pun intended....Pop it in, grab the cat and play some World Wide Hacky Sack. This movie gets a Solid B+ with a side of hidden artillery in the Arabian electronic Store..

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

2008-11-09T00:03:00Z

2008

comedy

R

KO.....as in knock you ass out off the damn couch, chair, floor, whatever the hell you sitting on. Holy bejessus batman....This joint is a head busta! Turn your cheeks inside out and what not...outside of this dude being naked WAY too often in the movie, it's a killa. Ol' Boy gets dumped by his Tv Star girlfriend and loses his mind in how to deal with it... He tries to cope by have one night stands, living like a hobo, and crying the tear ductsa out his sockets....Nothing works...So take a trip to Hawaii, and oops....Yea...thats when the fun begins...I cant even tell you about this flick. If your like me, at first, you will hate Sarah Marshalls new Worldy singer BF, but at the end of the movie, he will be your new BFF...OMG, STFU.
He's dripping with comic juice, and you dont need a strong pallette to handle it.
This is a comic wonderland of comebacks, insults, and phrases you will walk away wondering why the hell you dont say these things more often.
Its a nonstop verbal assault on your appendix. And, with that statement, I have clearly proven my lack of knowledge on the Human anatomy...Screw it, doesnt matter, because im still LMAO......
Watch this, heck, you can just cop it...aka..Buy it...We have a black president, you can use slang in public now...hahahaha...
This movie gets an A+ with a breakfast drink that has Rum and Pineapple on the side.

Madagascar 2

2008-11-08T23:41:00Z

http://criticscorner.bugzinc.com/2008/11/08/madagascar-2.aspx

2008

Comedy

PG

Ok, so....This is the ever awaited return of the Comedy involving animated zoo animals who ended up back in the wild...Is it me, or did the Penguins steal the show in this one?
I suppose the Spot Light needs to rotate, where as the Zebra held it mercifully last time.
In this one, our animal friends find themselves on the plane sturdily rebuilt by the penguins, only to crash land into Africa....Thats a spoiler if you somehow didnt know thats the story of this movie...so, um...my bad.
Dare I say this one wasnt as funny as the first. Dont get me wrong, its still worth a crackalackin ticket or rental, but IDk....it was missing something....I think the music...The music was such a big deal in part one, but in this one it took a backseat...It wasnt the main juncture....They focused more on the Story line...Booo...
It wasnt a gut buster, but it was comical, and the Kids will love it of course...Alex returns as the dancing Lion, and the Giraffe finally realizes he's not going to die....This one gets a Solid B, for the kids...Throw in a side of lemur, and a staunch penguin with a 007 mentality and enjoy the show.

The Strangers

2008-11-03T18:55:00Z

2008

Rated R

Horror

Ok, well, check this one out....Based on a true story....A story where no one survived...In other words....none of this movie may be true, because it's all up to interpretation....This however, should not dissuade you from renting the flick...
Turn up the surround sound, and get ready....They did this one well...
These psycho bag head folks taunt, fear, and prey on the 2 lonely folks in the middle of nowhere...
Idk...Im sure if I was in a horror situation like this, I would hide in a corner as well....I would trip, and I would leave my phone out of sight for someone else to grab and destroy....Of course I would...
Maybe its just me, I would take my chances running on the street....If the nearest neighbor is 1 mile away....then guess what....you better catch me before I get there......
It had creep value, oh shit value, and over What the Fuc* value....I would recommend it....Wait...I just did...
Watch these strangers, tap windows, paint slogans REALLY fast on the walls, mock, terrify and eventually get hands on with the lovebirds in this twisted mind bender....
Take a ride on the stranger train....
This one gets a Solid B with a paper bag on the side....You dont have to put the bag over your head.

The Happening

2008-10-30T14:39:00Z

Rated R

Drama/Thriller

Damn You M Night Shamalammalaynana or whatever your name is.....God damn you are good at sucking me in with your freeking previews.....Drop out of movies and just make irrelevant short films and commercials....
Typical Crap....Cool begining, Pull me in, show me mass suicides of the Oddly wacky kinda and then get me to sit through 45mins of where, but why, and what is the point, plots so you can deliver unto me a message of how we are destroying the planet....Even MarkWhalberg seemed a little confused on why he sat through the making of this film...Damn the Killer Grass....It had potential, but in the end it proved to be just like the Village, Fake, Misleading, and only out to serve a selfish point....You bastard...M Night Shackatamana is oficially off of my Christmas list....this one gets a C....with some dirty air....thats all....

Run Fat Boy Run

2008-10-30T14:27:00Z

PG-13

Foreign Comedy

Ok.....Let me start by saying....MY BAD YO....I been missing for a while...I know....Let me explain..
3 reasons....
Reason 1 - the election....I have been following this election closely, and while I would love to spew my Left Wing Utopian ideas all over the site, I shant do so...
Reason 2 - Dead Space- PS3....Holy good mother of Horror genre video games.....

Reason 3- Civilization III....I will never be president...I can barely come up with the right strategy to beat this game on easy....Screw it...

Ok....The movie....What a dolt this dude is...Im gonna make this easy for you...Do you like this guy? Have you enjoyed his other movies? If yes....then you will like this one...It wasnt BUst my gut funny, but it was comical....couple guys with bad teeth, sissy fighting scenes, pints, smokes, and houses the look like they were built as comic book guides....Go for it...Its a good rental....On one note....What guy goes into the locker room nude and just swings his johnson around in someone else personal space? Maybe I have been lucky enough to avoid all the Shanty "Rainbow" Locker rooms ....Thank goodness...(no offense to those who enjoy those situations though.)
This movie gets a B-.....If Drunk....This movie Gets B+....Throw in a side of hot land lord, and you wont mind this one.

Street Kings

2008-09-29T00:08:00Z

Rated R

Crime

2008

Ok, so Street Kings is a complicated story about cops, crooks, criminals and the corruption that engulfs them. As any director approaching a story of such complexity, what should you do? DUH....Hire Neo to be your lead...I am officially requesting Keanu Reeves to change his name to Neo...It just makes sense.
It will take you a minute to figure out which crack slinger and which 5.0 are corrupt, and or working for the good guys...They do a good job of dumping your brain (both left and right sides) into a maze of confusion, because you will no doubt pretend your Sherlock Holmes and try to crack the case before the movie ends....Unfortunately, I would be fired as a detective...
If you enjoy cop flicks, feel free to check this one out...Its got most things that are on my list for Movies to be approved by Guys. What does that mean? Let me tell ya - Its got guns, check. Hot girls, check. Killing, Check. And Lies upon Lies...The only thing this was missing was some Kung Fu. This won't be your almighty answer to a boring Friday night, but don't worry about being upset if you rent this one. Grab a travelers Vodka, a pack of smokes, and pop this one in your VCR, Blu Ray, or DVD and check it out. I Give this one a Solid B- with a bullet proof vest on the side...And no, It was not right for him to blast on the dude that was using the toilet.....thats just wrong man.

Prom Night

2008-09-28T23:59:00Z

Rated R

Horror

2008

Disclaimer......The critics got this one right....D-.....Average User's who saw this movie however, were mentally challenged. They gave it a B.

Ok, so....I am a horror movie buff...Love them...Which Ones? All of them.
Did you make it to your senior prom? If so, What highschool was it? Did they have a welcome crowd and search lights at the front entrance??? No? Ok...good....I thought this was over the top.
Who the hell do they model these dances after in hollywood?
I skipped my prom for the Vile Disgust I had for all of my senior class.....This however, does not impact my review of this movie.
3 years ago, this teacher became overly obsessed with a blonde in his class. A blonde who, by way of Blu Ray has way to much peach fuzz on her face...Anyways....The blonde, aka Donna, comes home from the movies, where the "teacher" is about to slaughter her mom. Donna amazingly finds the best hiding spot ever....Under the bed...Where she gets to witness her mom get hacked to death with Quite Possibly the most minimal amount of blood and gore ever in a horror movie.
Ok.....Fast Forward >> Now its prom night...Bet you couldnt guess that one....
Ok, so doesnt it make sense that the "teacher" AKA Mr Kill your ass quick, escaped from the mental asylum? If you answer yes...Then you too have seen a few horror movies in your time.
Work around the BS. chit chat and ADDS NOTHING TO THE PLOT story that takes place during the dance and watch Mr Kill your ass quick, stalk, mangle, and stab his way to the end of the film.
Don't worry, yes the girls fall when they run...yes they find ways to bump into the noisiest objects, and yes they make theyre way into the Abandoned part of the hotel...You know...the area you couldnt normally gain access to unless you were batman...
Take a slow ride on this shi**y prom night and watch the kids act like morons, walk down halls alone, and fall victim to being the easiest prey ever....seriously, I could have killed them...
This killer is not as cool and or slick as they want you to believe, but hey, you can try.
This one gets a C- with a Big Knife, but with not to much left over blood because the special effects guys went home for the night.

Space Chimps, 21 and more

2008-08-12T13:23:00Z

Whats going on folks. I know its been a minute. If your wondering why, it's because I have been reunited with the family. My little one has got me swimming everyday...Hmmmm....As a parent, it's one of our never ending Kunundrums (spell check) we want to give our kids the best, we want excellent opprptunities available for our family, and we want everything we didnt have. Well, I moved to Charlotte, and if you have ever been here, apartment Homes are all the rage. So, thats what we did..I now live in one of them, sit back, relax, and let the office folks take care of everything for you type of complex's. I dont even have to take my trash out....Sweet.
But check this..The place comes with a nice inground pool...Sounding like a fantastic Idea....Until I learned that my 5 year old was a fish. She begs to go swimming everyday. And in this day of obesity, unhealthy snacks, and video games, as a parent, I struggle with saying no...So...What does that mean?? That means, after 9hrs at work, I have to pull 60 minutes or so in the pool. And on the weekends, I get to double that....I really have to learn to love swimming again...I loved being in the pool when I was a kid, but as an adult, it hasnt been my cup of tea...Apparently, I need to get a bigger cup, throw in some sugar, and get back to sipping tea like a bloke.

Back to the title...

Space Chimps
2008
Comedy

This Animated flick was a crack up. Its about...um...ya know...Chimps, who go to space. Duh. It was Bananas...Did you know that was coming? Sorry..
Anyways....Check this one out...I cant say much about it...I don't like to give away the movie with reviews, but I think anything I say about this one is a total spoiler. Trust me that It was funny...My 5 year old loved it too...lol...The dancing scientist was a crack up....We need more robot gyrating, pop locking scientists in our movies... Holla! This one gets an A- with a side of Dip n Dots (supposedly, astronaut ice cream)

21
2008
Darama

If you have ever been a fan of Poker movies, card movies, vegas flicks, or movies with some really smart azz nerds...this one is for you...I didn't bother renting this...It went straight to a blu ray purchase for me.
This kid make you say hmmmm......I mean really? His brain moves like a super computer. (bill gates, eat your heart out) He is to Math what Michael Phelps is to the Ocean. <---think about that.
Seriously...theres maybe one or two slow points, but they do this really well, add in some cute nerd girls, a small touch of comedy and a great performance by spacey and you got one intelligent rain man flick without the autism. Go for it...Dont be afraid...Rent this...and be anyone you wanna be while you watch it.. This one get a B+ with a fake mustache on the side...Did you count the letters in this post? If so...just buy the movie geek.

Dark Knight

2008-07-29T16:03:00Z

The Dark Knight....Batman...part....35? IDK...What this movie should be called is the Joker....BatWho?
not important. In fact, he could have just sat this one out so we could watch Heath Ledger AKA Joker walk around and rip through Gotham...I havent seen any Reports of a movie based video game for this...but if it happens...You better be able to play as the Joker...For real....I could go into this deeper...but im sure you have hear about this no non stop for the past 3 weeks...Go watch it...Do NOT take kids under 13yrs old...Its dark, creepy, and yea...dont take them. This one Gets a A+ with a napkin containing s creepy smeared lipstick smile..

Hancock

2008-07-03T15:49:00Z

2008

Rated PG-13

(**SIDEBAR**)
______ This is something I must pose to the world of movie goers. What do you do when you watch movies? You pick a movie based on recommendations, or trailers, or previous interests...right? Ok, so...Now that you picked the movie, you rent it or go to the theatre, download it, whatever....And what do you do then? Do you expect the movie to give you a massage or brush your hair? Maybe the movie should tell you world peace is coming and you can feel safer at night...Do you expect movies to tuck you in bed and fix the gas prices??? I don't get it....I try to...But I don't. -----This is what I do. I pick my movie. Then I expect a certain result of entertainment from that movie. Let me break it down. If I go Watch Rambo, Or Jet Li...I expect action and a lot of whoopin ass. Based on that expectation I will Like, or Not Like the movie. If I go see a Horror movie, I will Like or Not Like that movie Based on the Originality, the story telling, and the Overall Creep factor....This is how I go to see movies. I have a certain expectation before sitting down....Now, With Hancock...Lets think about it shall we? An Action/COMEDY starring Will Smith as an Alcoholic SuperHero.....Seriously...What do you expect from this movie? What type of movie was expected? I am not sure. The Critics are ripping this apart. And when I walked out of the Theatre Last night, So were the movie-goers. All the way down the hall I heard, "wow, that sucked", "Only the begining was good" and "there was no plot"....Am I the only one that gets it? Really? I'm the only one??
ITS A PG-13 MOVIE ABOUT A DRUNKEN SUPERHERO WITH AN ACTION/COMEDY CATEGORY!!! What type of life altering Plot do you expect?
Really....Its not based on a marvel superhero with 60yrs of relativity. Its not based on some Cult like Lord of the Rings following....It is What it is...Stop Going to see movies expecting to get a handjob in the theatre. (unless your "friend" is with you offering one)...
BE REALISTIC....Why Am I upset? I am upset because I loved the Movie....It is exactly what I expected. Goofy, Silly, Touching, and Cool as hell. Will Smith rocks as always, and Charlize theron is hot as ever...C'mon man...Lighten up critics...Geez. Your just a bunch of Haters because he went from Fresh Prince to "Im Rich Bitch"...Get over it....If You think like I do about expectations, you will Love this one....Go check it out.
This one gets a Solid B+ with a spandex suit on the side...."Thank you, Good job, Good job"

Jumper

2008-07-03T15:36:00Z

2008

Rated PG-13

Ok, I've seen a lot of movies where the main character has superhuman abilities or powers that I thought would be awesome to posses. This is truly one of them. As a kid whose mom left him, this young man can't find the middle ground. The dumb jock at school bully's him, and his dad is loud and reckless with their relationship. Enter the begining of the end...What do you do when you fall under a frozen pond? You pray to god that you will magically appear in a library next to the "WTF for dummies" book section. Once he finds his new found skill set he decides to take off, "jumping" from place to place, assuming he is the only one in the world, take doors, air planes and any form of travel NOT teleportation for granted. With power comes great responsibility. (have I heard that before?) So, enter the "bad guy"... Sam jackson, no, not wheeling a 45 talking about big macs over seas, but rockin' the bleach blonde paris hilton hair style and the Obi Wan lightsaber modified to shoot a hundred volts of electricty. Watch as our Main character dashes, leaps, vanishes, and poofs his way around the bad guys, the bullies, the girls and the ultimate responsibilities he must adhere to... Not bad...but I wanted more at the end...I guess I am the "What next" guy....This movie gets a Regular old B. Not Solid, Not flimsy, Like an 84; of course with a side plate of Stolen cash...

No Country for Old Men

2008-07-03T15:27:00Z

2007

Rated R

It took me a while to go get this one. A many men were telling me to rent this movie here yander. But, I am not a big country/western flick fan I reckon, and I hence assumed this was such......Ok the heck with all that lingo.
Seriously, I was caught off by the western appearance and I don't jump quickly at a western movie not titled Tombstone.
This is about a dude. A dude with issues. (as most movies are now a days) He's a crazy psycho genius who reminded me of the guy from SwitchBlade.... Now, I should have watched this movie twice. Why? Because there were some things I just didnt pick up on. Like, why/how is he involved in any of this? Did he just stumble into his situation? Did he have prior knowledge? We dont get much background, wer'e kinda just thrown into a story that is already unfolding.
This movie was good though. It held on to the suspense/drama filled category well and was able to please in all aspects. If you know me, or if you have read my reviews at all, you will know that I didn't like the ending. Outside of that pick this one up. Watch this nut-job air pump his way through melons, doors, and anything remotely annoying him while Woody and his buddies try to find a way to take him out. This movie gets a Solid B with a bottle of medication on the side....because apparently this dude forgot to take his.

Meet the Spartans

2008-06-15T19:28:00Z

2008

PG13

Stupidity

Ok well....You should know what to expect when renting this one. Dont expect anything superb. But you know how I know your gay? LOL...because if you are a spartan you great the males with open mouth tongue kisses and the women get Hi Fives! LOL...wow....
When the movie is over....DONT SHUT IT OFF....Let it keep playing...The best part is coming up. Leonidas starts throwing people into the Death Pit. Funny as hell. Ellen degeneres Tries to dance her way out of getting kicked in...doesnt work...Matter of fact, the Death Pit and the Paula Abdul was like the funniest thing in the movie.
Between that and Leonidas beating this Ish out of his son to tuffen him up...lol...there are some funny moments in this movie. But don't make it your first priority.
This movie gets a B- with a spray painted 6 pack...(that rating is based on knowing what to expect from this type of movie.)

Before the Devil Knows your Dead

2008-06-15T19:16:00Z

2007

rated R

Ok....Um this is one where either I am all wrong, or the critics + the general population are wrong.
I would love to tell you about this movie....but it was SOOO STUPID AND SOOOO BORING, that I shut if off 40 minutes into it. Melissa Tome was the only highlight of this flick. They kept rewinding. They show you the ending like a wanna be Quentin Tarantino film, and then rewind, 3 days prior, 4 days prior...If I could rewind, I would get my money back and NOT rent this movie. Go for it, the critics gave it an A...so what do i know....If you have read my movie reviews at all...you know I watched some movies I wasnt crazy about...But this one...I shut it off...IDK...maybe im wrong...Go rent it and tell me if I was out of my mind. I gave it a D....If you get rid of the movie itself, and keep the scenes with Melissa tome, it gets a B+ though.

Rambo

2008-06-15T19:01:00Z

2008

Rated R

Action...Lots of it.

Ok, if you like any of the Rambo movies, but you haven't seen this one...What is wrong with you! Rambo is back! This is Rambo on crack. Rambo on speed. Rambo on a big fat can of shut your friggin mouth! Holy crap, he's bigger, beefier, vein-ier, and more focused then ever.
Welcome to the new war. John rambo is a snake handler just passing his days away in thailand, down the coast from the Junta Army. Low and behold, here come some holier then thou American missionaries who want Rambo to take them up the River. Rambo INSISTS that is a death wish...but after they beg and plead, he says "what the hell" and takes them.
And so begins the journey. I have seen some pretty straight forward violent movies....How this didnt get rated NC-17, I dont know. This shi* was sick. After watching the documentaries, it seems as straight forward as possible to show how the people of burma are treated by this army.
If you think you are a tough guy, that's fine...just dont call Rambo the boat man. He brings ne life to the bow and arrow and its awesome ness. Back with a new Knife and a new bandana, watch rambo sling, cut, and gut his way through this army of ass-men...seriously...as soon as I get my new TV, im buying this on Blu-Ray. Wow....
The critics are dumb asses. They gave this a C-...I guess theyre not fans of rambo or showing us what its really like for the burmese people. I give this Movie an A, with a side of Rambo theme music to give you goose bumps.

The Golden Compass

2008-05-19T01:25:00Z

2007

PG-13

Fantasy

Ok, I did not read the books. I went into this film clueless about the story. At the end of the movie, I was left dumfounded....Why? because it didnt end. No sir'ee. It faded to black and like Jay Z, guranteed to make a comeback.
Blah blah blah religious yada yada. Sure, you can put this into a religious hating category...whatever. I guess. How about it's a fantasy movie about dust and bears that talk and about a lil girl who does big things...
Seriously, after I learned about all the religious flack this movie got, I did some thinking.
Did you know the Matrix could be considered religious. Neo being the 2nd coming of christ, fighting the devil machines to bring the human civilization to peace....Why? We we gotta poke religious beliefs into everything and then argue about it....
Well...anyways....It was a cool flick. These arent no coca-cola polar bears...If they are...they doped up on something straight from roger clemens' locker room. In fact...every animal is like that..
All cool and all crazy..not a whole lot I could explain. The compass isnt about directions. Its about the truth, and when you find the truth, you have to defeat the lies. But why would normal folk be able to do such things? They wouldn't. In walks the 10year old girl with all the answers. Oh well...Typical feel good....This movie was easily on its way to a B+ until the ending was left out in the cutting room. Sorry, stuck with a C+. Cool effects, cool conecpts, cool everything. Enjoy an ice cream with this one and welcome the world of fantasy without boo hooing about their religious beliefs. Maybe when and if part 2 comes out, I can feel complete and upgrade this rating.

In the name of the King

2008-05-19T01:04:00Z

2008

PG-13

Action/Fantasy

Did you ever hear of this one? I didn't. I saw it on a preview of another dvd and I was intrigued. What the transport dude...He's not doped up on crank, and he's not karate chopping dudes in drug trades. But he still gives a worthy performans of his raw acting and his kick you in the face i'm better then you attitude.
The story was worthy. A dad who loses his sun in a kingdom's battle over power. And his need to finish the job keeps you in the flick. However, you have to get past some things as i did to enjoy this. This is like Lord of the Rings meets sesame street. The evil army is of course some kind of creature, but my 9 year old designed the costumes...well....she didn't really...but alot of times, it felt like it. It had all the features of a B rated flick, second rate and thrown together, but the story was good. Im not lying. It was a cool idea, but with a low budget. If your bored and youd like to see this guy put a sword swinging ass whooping on some funky goons, give this a rental and enjoy. It gets a C+ with a bronze shield on the side. The only thing that held this back from a better rating was the costumes and special effects....